Fullmetal Alchemist: The Hero of Time
by Hedgehog of Time
Summary: It began in Liore, when Al, Ed and Rose met him. Joseph Elric, the Portal Alchemist claiming to be master of the lost art of magic, and the one and only Portal Alchemist. As they are drawn deeper into Joseph's web of mysteries, they find themselves in the heart of an ancient prophecy in a strange land known as Hyrule. (Brotherhood and normal combination) EdxRose.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Old Friends, New Faces

"What do I have to live for now, now that I know Cain is never coming back!" Rose screamed at him, tears rolling down her face. "WHAT DO I HAVE TO LIVE FOR!" she fell to her knees, sobbing. Alphonse stood on the side looking like he would rather be anywhere but here which was hard considering his metal face had no facial expression. As for Edward himself, he just stood there looking down at her, his face emotionless. He knew how she felt, he had felt the same way when his mother had died, and again after he had lost his leg trying to resurrect her, and a third time when he lost his arm in order to save his brother by binding his soul to the armor that was now his physical body. He felt nothing but pity for Rose, but he couldn't care, his heart wouldn't be able to take it.

"You have two perfectly good legs." said the elder Elric brother coldly. "Find out for yourself." He turned his back on her. He was about to walk away when he heard his brother blurt out perhaps the absolute stupidest idea he had ever had, and that was saying a lot.

"You could come with us." he said quickly. Edward spun on his heel his mouth gaping open. "WHAT!" he and Rose screamed at the same moment.

Alphonse held up his hands as if to defend himself from some sort of physical assault. "I-I'm serious guys! Rose doesn't have any reason to stay here, and not that I don't enjoy your company brother, but I think it could be a good thing to have someone else with us to keep us both sane."

Edward closed his eyes and took a deep breath to calm his frustration. "Al, you know I love you, but this is probably the absolute stupidest idea you have ever had. You know what kind of whack-jobs we deal with! She'd be dead within the week and we can't protect her forever."

"We could teach her alchemy." said the metal man.

Edward slapped his hands to the sides of his head. "JESUS CHRIST!" cried Edward. "Don't you have any brains at all! That will get her killed before the criminals do it! Are you TRYING to get her killed?!"

"Why?" growled Rose. "I'm not some delicate little girl, and I would like to learn alchemy."

Edward stood stock still knowing just by her tone why she wanted to learn alchemy. "Rose," he said quietly, "I know what you're thinking, but take it from me, it is impossible to use alchemy to resurrect someone. Like it or not your boyfriend is dead, deal with it." Edward felt Rose turn him around by the shoulders and slap him hard across the face.

"How dare you." she hissed. "How dare you assume that all I want is to learn alchemy for my own selfish reasons. I don't know what blinds you more, your prejudice, or your own pain." She turned around and walked a few paces forward before stopping. "I want to help people damn you. I want to protect people the way you do. I want to help them fight and give them hope. If learning alchemy will allow me to do that, then I'll endure even a self righteous ass like you."

There was a long moment of silence where you could almost feel the awkward in the air. It was finally broken by Alphonse who said "So, does that mean you're coming with us?" as he rubbed the back of his neck.

"Give me five minutes to pack my things." she said coldly. She walked off down a nearby street in the general direction of her house.

Edward wheeled on his brother, his eyes blazing with fury. "What, on Heaven or on Earth, possessed you to think that that was a GOOD IDEA!" he screamed.

Alphonse raised his hands again. "I-it was for you brother!" he cried in defense.

"FOR ME! HOW COULD THAT POSSIBLY HELP ME!" before Alphonse could respond Edward went into one of his legendary tirades. "THE CHICK HATES MY GUTS! HOW, IN THE NAME OF GOD, COULD SHE HELP ME! WHY DO I NEED HELP ANYWAY-"

"BECAUSE YOU'VE STOPPED CARING!" cried Alphonse in a voice that Edward couldn't believe belonged to his sweet little brother. Edward backed up a few steps, gaping at his brother as he loomed over him. For the first time, he was not Alphonse his little brother, he was a metal giant who looked angry enough to crush his pint-sized head. Alphonse poked him in the chest which actually sent him back a few steps. "You heard me. You've. Stopped. Caring. Ever since Nina was turned into a Chimera you've stopped caring about anyone except me and you. Yeah you help people, but it's hollow. It's not out of compassion for people, it's some sort of sick obsession!" Edward couldn't believe the words coming out of Alphonse's mouth. He had never seen his meek little brother act like this. "You're obsessed with finding the damn stone, and you've completely stopped caring about anyone else! After we failed with mom you just decided that caring hurt to much and just stopped altogether!"

Alphonse stopped to catch his breath. It was apparent that he had been storing this up for a long time. "What does have to do with Rose?" asked Edward quietly, sufficiently cowed by his brother's sudden furious tirade against him.

"Rose is the single most caring and compassionate person I've met since mom died." said Alphonse coldly. "I want you to take notes." With that Alphonse walked about seven feet away and just stood with his back to him.

_'What the fuck is this shit!?'_ Edward mentally screamed. _'Hate Edward day or something!?"_

* * *

That night the party of three camped in the desert. Edward had transmutated a large surface of sand into a massive stone slab for them to sleep on and the lit a fire with wood taken from the village. The entire trip had been spent in tense silence. The strains leftover from Alphonse and Edward's argument remained between them, and Rose still wasn't talking to him. She had spent the day getting an oral version of the basics of alchemy from Alphonse while Edward brought up the rear. Edward was in both Alphonse's and Rose's dog house, and, though they were in the desert, it was freezing in there.

So here they were, sitting on a giant rock slab, eating cold soup, and not talking to each other. Edward himself was furious at Alphonse for allowing Rose to become their new traveling partner, but also found himself pondering his words. Was his brother right, had he really stopped caring?

"So, how did it all come to this?" asked Rose as she set down her now empty bowl. "How did the famous Fullmetal Alchemist come to be?"

Alphonse rubbed the back of his iron neck. "Um, sorry Rose, but that's kinda personal territory for Edward and I so-"

Edward let out a bitter laugh. "Why not Alphonse? Apparently she's better than me so why not make her part of the damn family." Edward stood and threw his bowl to the ground shattering it. "Why fucking not." He spun around and stalked away to the edge of stone where they were camping, a pall of anger surrounding him.

Alphonse sighed and put his head in his hands. "I knew I shouldn't have said all those things to him, I knew I'd regret it later."

"What?" asked Rose turning her gaze from the elder to the younger brother. "What happened? Did you argue?"

Alphonse told her about their argument.

Rose furrowed her brow. "Why? Why would he stop caring?"

Alphonse sighed. "That's a very long story Rose, but you might as well know, if just to keep from getting punched by Edward. Or turned into a shovel."

* * *

He didn't know how long he stood there at the edge of the sand, just staring into the distance at nothing in particular. Behind him he heard the general murmur of two voices so he knew that Rose and his brother were talking, and by the way the evening had been going he wouldn't be surprised if they were badmouthing him. He twisted his face into a bitter smile. He was being a self pitying asshole, he knew that, but sometimes one deserved a little self pity. The voices eventually silenced and he heard a set of feminine footsteps behind him. Edward sighed knowing that Rose was behind him.

"What do you wan-" he began turning around only to be cut off by Rose throwing her arms around him and crushing him to her chest in a tight hug. For a moment Edward was too stunned to react or think because he was pressed up against her breasts. _Maybe being short isn't so bad._ Thought the dazed Alchemist. _Dammit I just called myself a pint-sized pip squeak!_

"I'm so sorry." whispered the girl. "I didn't know. I'm so sorry."

The words kick-started his thought process so he could actually think coherently. "So," he said muffled by her boobs. "Alphonse told you the whole story?"

"Yes," she said quietly feeling a tear splash into his hair. "I'm so sorry I was so dreadful to you. I-I had no idea."

_Okay,_ thought Edward,_ She's crying, and you have to cheer her up, even if it means giving up the boob._ Edward pulled away and wrapped his own arms around her in a comforting hug, careful to avoid her breasts for fear of being called a pervert. "It's okay Rose, it's okay You have nothing to apologize for." he pulled away, his hands on her shoulders. "To be fair I was kind of being a complete ass crack back at the village."

Rose smiled through her tears. "And to be fair I did betray you to that charlatan." Her face fell and became melancholy. "I just- I wanted so badly to believe him. So badly to believe that he could bring Cain back." she looked down at the ground in shame. "I-I'm weak."

Edward cupped her chin and brought her face up to look him in the eyes. "Hey, you aren't weak Rose, you aren't weak for having faith, or taking the word of a trusted adult over two weirdos you had just met. You're confusing weakness with common sense!" Rose's face broke into a sunny smile. "Now come on, I'll teach you how to use Alchemy to repair that bowl."

Unbeknownst to either, Alphonse was watching from his tent smiling happily, well, he would if he still had a human face. _Maybe there is hope for him after all._ Thought the young alchemist. He also noticed the blush in Rose's cheeks when Edward took her hand, and the smile in his face when she smiled at him.

* * *

"Yeah like that." said Edward like an approving teacher as Rose drew the final edge to the symbol in the transmutation circle. They had gathered the shards of Edward's shattered bowl and were currently drawing an alchemy circle in order to repair it.

Rose finished drawing the symbol and looked up at the elder Elric brother across from her. "Are you sure I can do this? I mean, don't you have to have some sort of natural gift to learn alchemy?"

Edward shook his head. "No, no. True, some are born with better control over it than others and find it easier to learn, but anyone can learn and master it. It just takes longer."

"Oh," said Rose with a frown. "Okay, if you say I can." With that she put the final touches on the symbol and set the chalk down.

"Okay." said Edward. "Now picture the bowl, picture it perfectly as it was before it was broken and keep that image fixed in your mind. Keep it there, every flaw, every chip in the paint, everything." Rose nodded and closed her eyes slowly forming a mental picture of the bowl. "Alright." said Edward. "Now put your hands on the circle with that image in your mind and will the shards to form that shape." Rose did as she was told. For a long moment, nothing happened. Then the circle and symbol began to glow with white light, electricity from the alchemical reaction began to fly out in all directions, and the bowl shards began to crawl back together, slowly the bowl began to repair itself. However the process was agonizingly slow, and Rose was starting to sweat very badly. Finally, the final piece came together and the bowl was completed, leaving Rose shivering in exhaustion and sweat pouring over her brow. Edward was duly impressed, but panicked when he saw Rose fall onto her side shivering.

"Rose!" he cried scrambling over to her, picking up her head in his lap. "Are you all right Rose?"

Rose struggled into a sitting position, sweat still beading her tan brow. She was trembling as though she had been in a blizzard. "Y-Yes Edward. It- it was just.. overwhelming."

Edward smiled sheepishly. "Yeah, that's kind of how it is at first. But nice job! That was really good for your first try-" he was cut off by clapping. It was slow, deliberate clapping, but nor was it mocking. Out of the shadows stepped a man. He was about 5'9 and had a mop of scruffy brown hair. He wore simple sneakers, a pair of blue jeans worn out around the knees, a white undershirt, and a plaid unbuttoned over-shirt with rolled up sleeves. He looked for all the world like a normal everyday man you might meet on the street. Then Edward noticed his arms. Tattooed all up and down his arms, were alchemy symbols. But they were mixed with other symbols, symbols that Edward had never new existed. The symbols were tattooed in the colors of red, blue, and gold, setting up a rather impressive display of color.

"Yes," smirked the stranger in a noble, high class British accent. "rather impressive for your first attempt at alchemy princess." Edward jumped to his feet transmutating his metal arm into a sword.

"Who the hell are you?" snarled the elder Elric brother. "Talk or I'll gut you like fish."

The mysterious man laughed like Ed was a child trying to play police officer. "Now now little ducky, little boys shouldn't challenge lions, you'll just be eaten in the end."

Edward smirked. "Rose, get to Alphonse. This lion is going to sleep six feet under tonight."

"Oh very original," sighed the man. "But I'm afraid that your outclassed Edward."

Edward and Rose stared in shock."Y-you know who he is?" asked Rose scooting back a couple inches.

"Oh but of course." he laughed. "And I think this little ducky does as well." he moved aside and Edward squinted behind him. But before he could do anything, he saw a white blur race forward, and was tackled to the floor by a happy, barking Alexander.

"A-Alexander!" cried Edward struggling to get the huge dog off of him. "What the hell! But- but you were a chimaera! You and Nina! But then you and she-" but before he could continue, he was interrupted by the sweet little voice that he never though that he would hear again.

"Yay! Let's play horsie Mr. Joseph!"

Edward very slowly say up, gently pushing Alexander off of him. Behind him he heard Alphonse run out of his tent to see if his ear were betraying him. But no, their eyes told them that their ears were told them the truth. There, standing next to the casually dressed British man in a painfully adorable blue and pink dress, wearing little pink shoes and a smile that lit up the night in a way that not even the stars and moon could, was Nina.

"N-Nina?" asked Alphonse, sounding close to tears. "I-is it really you?"

"Yep!" said the little girl brightly walking up to Edward. "Mr. Joseph said that daddy went on long trip! Now he Miss Telma and Mr. Scar are taking care of me. But," here she pulled Edward's head down and whispered into his ear as if to confer a secret. "Mr. Scar is a little scary though."

"Ah don't mind Scar!" laughed the man. "He is grumpy, and moody, a tad bit unstable in his noodle but he's a right decent bloke he is."

"Um, is this the same Nina that was turned into a Chimera?" asked Rose. No one answered for a long moment. Edward clasped Nina on the shoulders and looked her over, long and hard, searching. Searching for some sort of sign, some sort of flaw. He felt hope against hope rising in his heart and desperately tried to squash it. This couldn't be Nina, it couldn't! The transformation was supposed to be irreversible! That's the way that alchemy worked.

But Edward wasn't... quite... sure.

"Mr. Edward?" asked the little girl sweetly, "What's a Chimera?"

"N-Nina?" he managed to choke out, tears forming in his eyes. Rose gasped as Edward said her name. Alphonse fell to his knees as Alexander came over to him demanding his ears rubbed. When he didn't get a response he nudged Alphonse's metal leg. Alphonse absently began to rub the dog behind his ears.

"Are you okay Mr. Edward?" asked Nina, growing very concerned. "Why are you crying?" Edward could only stare, as tears started to pour down his face. Rose felt a tear trail down her own, and she felt certain that Alphonse would be crying to if he could.

"It's alright mate," said the stranger in a sympathetic voice, "just let everything out. No shame in it at all."

"I know!" cried Nina, an idea popping into her head. "You missed me because I was on a long trip," then she frowned. "I just wish I knew where I went." Then she smiled again. "But I'm here now! And now we can be friends agai-" before she could finish her sentence she was cut off by Edward wrapping her in an unbelievably tight hug, sobbing. After a moment of hesitation, Nina hugged him back with a giggle.

After a few moments he released the little girl and looked up at the stranger. "Who are you?" he asked in a strained voice. "H-How did you do this?"

The man's face broke into a broad smile. "The name is Joseph mate, Joseph Elric to be precise, I'm your mother's brother. That makes you and Al over there my nephews. As for how I did it," his smile changed to a smirk. "well that's going to be a long story."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Uncle Joseph?

Part 1: Shadows of the Past

Nina was sound asleep, curled up on Edward's lap. Alexander was snoozing with his big furry head resting on Rose's leg. The entire group and the mysterious Joseph were sitting around the campfire in silence. Rose, Ed, and Alphonse silently stared at the man claiming to be Edward and Alphonse's uncle.

The man in question, Joseph, was currently staring into the fire as if it held his heart's desire just out of arms reach. "All right I'll take the bloomin' bait," said the British man looking up at the group. "What did I do wrong?"

There was a long silence unbroken except by the sounds of Nina quietly snoring on Ed's lap. Finally, Edward broke the silence. "How in the hell," he began, "did you separate Nina and Alexander. The Chimera transformation is supposed to be irreversible."

Joseph smirked. "I've learned quite a few useful, not to mention powerful, alchemical tricks in my day boy. And lets just say I had some help from a good lady friend of mine who knows a thing or two about alchemy, among other things." he said with an evil smile. "Like certain things in bed that would make a pervert blush."

"That isn't an answer." said Rose crossing her arms. "And also, could you be a little more vulgar? I can still hold down my lunch."

"Well it's all you're getting princess so shut yer gop." he said taking a cigarette out of his back pocket. He stuck it in his mouth and snapped his fingers. An alchemy symbol on his left arm began to glow and the cigarette immediately lit. He took a long drag out of the cigarette and blew a smoke ring. He coughed a couple times and grinned exposing crooked and slightly yellowed teeth. "I swear, if anything, these damn things are going to kill me. Don't smoke boys, don't smoke." he tossed the cigarette into the fire and looked expectantly at his nephews. "So boys, whats your next question lads and lass?"

"How the hell did you light your cigarette without creating a spark!" cried Edward.

"Shh!" hissed Rose. "You're going to wake Nina and Alexander." she chided.

"Sorry," said Edward looking down in shame.

_Piss, they caught me._ Thought Joseph. "Well, I might as well tell you." he gave a smirk, which frankly was really starting to annoy Edward. "It was Magic."

"Magic, right." said Edward in an exasperated voice. "There's no such thing as Magic "uncle". So why don't you tell us how you really did it?"

"But it was! There actually is a scientific explanation for Magic believe it or not. It's very real, I can assure you." said Joseph.

"Okay," said Edward with an exaggerated sigh. "Let's here your "scientific explanation" for magic "uncle"." said Edward with evident sarcasm.

"Dear god mate! Your sarcasm is so thick I could cut it with a knife!" laughed Joseph. When his mirth subsided he sighed and looked down. Finally he looked at them and said in a very serious voice, "Magic is dangerous boys, very dangerous. It is perhaps the most dangerous force in existence." He put his hand into the air palm up and a tiny ball of electric energy began to appear, and started to grow.

"There are two types of energy duckies." said Joseph. "Kinetic energy, and potential energy. Kinetic energy is energy is the energy of objects all ready in motion and enters other particles as the object moves. Potential energy is the energy in non-moving objects. Alchemy manipulates matter, Magic manipulates energy. That's the basis of it."

"That's it?" asked Edward. "Just manipulating energy?"

"Basically." shrugged Joseph. "But energy is a risky thing. One miscalculation, one electron out of place and KABLOOIE!" he cried. Nina shifted in her sleep at the noise. Rose shot Joseph a look that would probably have killed a lesser man and he looked down at the ground in shame. Rose stroked Nina's hair as she settled back into her sleep.

"I still don't understand how this made Nina whole." said Alphonse.

"A more complicated and far longer story for another time." said Joseph quickly.

"We've got time." said Ed crossing his arms.

"You aren't ready for it." growled Joseph. "Trust me mate, you aren't ready for it."

Before Edward could object Alphonse interjected. "Mom never mentioned you, I think she would have told us if she had a brother."

Joseph scowled and lit another cigarette. "Trisha and I did not part on what you might call friendly terms. We had a row the last time we were face to face, some words were exchanged." he took a drag on his cigarette. "She said she never wanted to see me again. And she didn't." an awkward silence filled the air.

"Why would she say something like that?" asked Rose.

"She was in love with that dick-less bastard. He was your father for lack of a better term. I knew he was no good for her and I told her so." said Joseph sadly. "Poor Trisha thought that the sun shown through that bloody git. She refused to listen to me at all.." a single tear trickled down Joseph's face. "Do you boys think we could change the subject please."

"Who's Mr. Scar?" asked Rose obliging Joseph's request.

A change came over Joseph, his eyes became cold, and very far away; a warrior's eyes. After a long moment he finally spoke, and in the voice that befit those cold, cold warrior's eyes. "Are you wee lads familiar with the Ishvalan War?" asked Joseph.

"Vague mentions, that's all." said Alphonse.

"Well war isn't the right word I suppose." he crushed his cigarette in the stone. "When you look at the word war, read extermination. King Bradley got it into his unstable head of his that the Ishvalan people were a nuisance and, just like everything else that offends him, they were wiped off the map. Total genocide of an innocent race."

Rose stared in horror at the British man. Edward and Alphonse felt a blank spot in their hearts and minds. "Why am I not more surprised?" asked Edward hollowly.

"Because Bradley is a despotic monster." hissed Joseph with surprising venom. "Scar was an Isvalan warrior fighting against Amestris. His brother was the only Ishvalan alchemist, even though Ishvalan's consider alchemy to be a sin. His brother, his mother, his father, everyone he ever cared for was killed by a psychotic State Alchemist named Kimblee." he gave a bitter smile. "He hates pretty much all Amestrians, but he seems to harbor a special spot in his heart for State Alchemists."

"Why is he helping you then?" asked Rose angrily.

"Because of the type of alchemy I use." answered Joseph with a look of smug satisfaction. "It did save over a thousand Ishvalan lives after all." his face fell. "Not nearly as many as I would have liked."

The three blinked at him. Joseph chuckled in amusement at their looks. "Portal alchemy my dear duckies, portal alchemy. The science of connecting two points in space and time then opening a passage between them."

"T-that- it- impossible-" stuttered Edward and Alphonse in a series of unintelligible phrases.

"This from the guy's who can create weapons from sand." said Joseph with a cocked eyebrow. "Portal Alchemy is possible my duckies. I used it to, it's much cheaper than paying for a train, that's for certain." he said with a small smile.

"Let me get this straight." said Rose. "On top of creating monsters, weapons from sand, repairing stuff, alchemy can get you from point A to point B just by drawing some symbols on the floor? Is there nothing sane in this world anymore?"

Joseph nodded with a smirk. "It can princess, bet your last quid on it. But it can do far more than that."

"What, can it bring you to other worlds or something?" asked Rose incredulously. Joseph just gave a slight smile. "They- they can't can they?" she asked a hint of fear in her voice.

Joseph stood and brushed off his pants. "When you get back to old Musty's base in Amestris come to Number Four, Baker Street. I'll show you just what Portal Alchemy can do." he crouched and placed his hands on the stone. Three golden triangles began to glow in the stone and gold lightning was thrown out from the alchemical reaction. The colorful tattoos on his arms began to glow with brilliant light like a spectacular display of fireworks inked into his skin. There was a brilliant flash of golden light, and Joseph Elric was gone.

* * *

_A man protects those he cares for, a good man protects all he can, but a great man will be willing to sacrifice what he cares for for the greater good._

Roy Mustang sat in his chair behind his desk at his base of operations, the rain pounding on the window outside. The Flame Alchemist was contemplating various things in his mind, but dominating them was his ascent to power through the ranks of the Amestrian military. His eyes were set on a single goal, one goal that he knew he had to achieve.

He had to become Fuhrer. There was no other way around it. If Amestris was to redeem itself, Roy needed to become Fuhrer. Once he got there he would make changes, the first being the requirement of tiny miniskirts in the female military uniform, Riza would hate him for that. He smirked at the idea of Riza in the imagined uniform.

There was however, one thing that troubled him. Fullmetal. Roy liked the kid, even if he was a bit of a pain sometimes. Where would the Elric brothers fit into his vision of the future?

Roy shook his head. That could wait for later. Right now he could take the time to mess with the kid. He turned on his intercom and contacted Riza.

"Lieutenant Hawkeye," he said. "Have Fullmetal and his brother returned from the Liore case yet?" he asked.

"Not yet Roy." said Riza. The fact that she used his first name meant that she was alone, and it was safe to talk with her more intimately. "He is scheduled to get back today though."

Roy nodded to himself. "Well when he gets here tell him that if he doesn't have a report on my desk regarding the Liore case immediately I will inform all of central headquarters about his massive man crush on my tight ass." he smirked in approval at his evil plan.

Riza was silent for a moment before speaking. "Very well sir." she said dryly, and ended the transmission.

Roy leaned back in his seat with a satisfied sigh. At that moment his phone rang, jolting him up. Roy picked up the phone and answered in his most official voice. "This is Lieutenant Colonel Roy Mustang speaking."

"Roy!" said the cheerful voice of Lieutenant Colonel Maes Hughes. "It's good to hear from ya buddy!"

"Hughes are you calling to brag about your daughter again are you?" said Roy trying to keep his blood pressure down. He loved Hughes like a brother but by God he was annoying when it came to his family.

"No but since you ask..." teased the other Colonel.

"Then what is this about?" he growled.

"Joseph Elric." said Hughes, his voice turning very grim. "He's alive, and he's been spotted in the Liore Province."

Roy's blood ran cold at the mention of the name Joseph Elric. Edward and Alphonse's uncle, the man whom had once been Roy's friend. "That's where Fullmetal and his brother are." growled Roy.

"Do you think he'll try to contact his nephews?" asked Hughes.

"I'd be surprised if he didn't." said Roy massaging his forehead. "This is bad, this is so bad. The man is insane, you know that as well as I."

"When the Elric's get back be careful." said Hughes. "Make sure he hasn't done anything to them, or convinced them to join him."

"I will. Thanks for the heads up Hughes." said Roy hanging up. The Flame Alchemist put his face in his hands groaning. "Piss." he cursed to himself. "Shit, piss, fuck; why now!?" Joseph fucking Elric. This could not get any worse.

He had no idea just how bad things were going to get.

* * *

(Liore)

"People of Liore!" cried Father Cornello, or at least the thing that looked like him. "Today is the day that we rise up and destroy this evil outsider influence!" A thick chorus of cheers greeted him from his hundreds of followers. "We must destroy the infidels and non-believers!" cried the imposter to his flock. "For our God and for our very souls!"

Suddenly, through the chorus of cheers a single voice, quiet, but all the louder because of it rose above the praise and rabid screams of ascent. "And what God would that be demon." A hush fell over the crowd at the words uttered in the deep voice. Silently the crowd parted like the Red Sea as a man walked forward. He was a tall man, with dark tan skin with a jagged X shaped scar over his face and red sunglasses hiding his eyes. His hair was snowy white save for the sides and back which were dark gray, but despite this he was not old. He wore a plain white shirt and black pants with a yellow jacket resting on his shoulders. He walked with such certitude and power he seemed to be more a wild tiger stalking it's prey than a man.

"And who might you represent my little lost lamb?" smirked the not-Cornello at the man as he walked up the steps of the church.

"I work for no man." he said in that same deep voice as he circled around not-Cornello like a hunter.

"Well do you have a name." asked not-Cornello.

"I have no name, It died with my family." growled the scarred man.

"Well if you had a name I think you would have a better chance at finding employment." said not-Cornello amiably as though discussing the weather.

"I have a job, but I work for no man." said the man stopping his circling and standing between not-Cornello and the crowd. "I serve the one true God by wiping abominations like you off the face of the Earth you demon."

A chorus of jeers rose from the crowd directed at the newcomer but the man remained unfazed, like a boulder in the middle of a river.

"And what makes you call me a demon my friend?" asked the false prophet in an amused tone.

"You cannot fool me." snarled the man. "I know what you are. You are Envy, the Homunculus, and an affront to the one true God."

Envy's blood ran cold at the man's words. How could this man know the truth? But still, he had a job to do, and he couldn't let this man stop him.

"Well my friend," said Envy in a strained voice. "that certainly is a fantastic claim, but what do you have to back it up-" before he could say another word the scarred man rushed forward fast as lightning and grabbed his face with his right arm. Red lightning rushed up and down his arm, and Envy felt his head explode from the inside out. He quickly regenerated with the tell tale red lightning sparking around his wounds as they healed themselves. The crowd screamed and began to scatter in terror. Screams that the devil was amongst them littered the air.

Envy stood, reverting to his true form, hate sparking in his eyes. So much planning, so many plots undone in a single stroke by this one man.

Envy was going to make him suffer for this.

"Eat this you filth!" screamed Envy extending his arm. It quickly shifted into a green spike-like appendage rushing to meet the man's face.

The stranger rolled to the side out of harm's way and landed in a crouch. Fast as thought he extended his right arm and grasped the limb. The red lightning lit up the night again and the arm exploded in a cascade of flesh and blood.

"Ow! You prick that hurt!" screamed Envy at him as his limb regrew.

"Not as much as this will mate!" a voice in a British said brightly from behind him. Envy turned to see a huge bolt of blue electricity being shot at him from a man silhouetted by the torch light. The raw electricity struck Envy full force sending burning pain like fire through him. He screamed as the lightning burned through him. As the lightning came and went he felt his body regenerate. The moment it did the stranger grabbed him by the back of the head, using that strange power of his again to cause his head to implode.

As he reformed Envy knew he had to act quickly. He rolled to the side kicking the tan-skinned stranger's feet out from under him. Before the other could react Envy dashed into the church. He had to warn Lust and Gluttony about these two before they found them.

* * *

"Scar! Are you alright mate?" asked Joseph rushing over to his friend.

"I'm fine Joseph." growled the Ishvalan warrior. He stood and brushed off his pants. "The demon caught me by surprise that is all." he grumbled.

"Well if you aren't to teary eyed over your little scrapes then we should go hunt ourselves a bloomin' homunculus." said Joseph in a cheery voice.

"He could be any of the priests. What are we supposed to do, go on a killing spree?" questioned Scar in his deep voice.

Joseph shook his head. "The monks all cleared house an age ago. Envy is all alone in there."

Scar grinned. "Then we shall hunt our quarry with ease my friend." the Ishvalan turned to the great chapel doors. "Now, we should probably start from-"

"Enough chatter Scar me bloke." laughed Joseph. "Let's do this thing LEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRROOOOOOOYYYYYYYYYYYY! JJJJEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNKKKKKKKKKKKKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!" cried the wizard as he charged into the cathedral.

Scar blinked once like an owl at his slightly crazy friend. He sighed and followed his comrade into the church, ready to hunt down a homunculus. "Why do I hang around this simpleton?" he groaned to himself.

Neither noticed the man in the shadows of a nearby alley. He was a tall albino man, with white skintight leggings and skintight shirt. Around his waist was a golden sash with a large red gem set in it, and around his neck was a crimson cloak with a gold chain clasp. He smiled to himself and licked his black lips with his long forked tongue in anticipation of the prize-fight to come. He would have loved to watch it, but he had duties elsewhere unfortunately. Silently, Ghirahim the Demon Lord became one with the shadows.


	3. Stop SOPA

LISTEN UP PEOPLE!

We need to stop SOPA from taking away all our creativity. If SOPA has their way then it's bye bye all Fanart, Fanfics, Fan Videos, EVERYTHING!

Go to Google and type in SOPA 2014 and click on Stop Sopa 2014 – We The People – The White House.

SIGN THE DAMN PETITION PEOPLE!


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